#004 | A brand new start…

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/194117322?secret_token=s-PffIf”]

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

episode 004

Think about it: do you have regrets? Do you find yourself constantly thinking about how things might be different if you had done something differently, made a different choice, or not done something the way you did it?

Letting go of the past is something I find myself dealing with constantly—trying to reconcile decisions that I made where things didn’t quite work out the way I wanted them to. I’ve always been a very ambitious person. Most people who know me have always had very high expectations of me, but no higher than the ones of always had of myself. Which is why I sometimes struggle with some of the decisions that I made as far as my career (or livelihood) choice is concerned. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the things that I do. Being in the arts brings me great joy. But joy doesn’t always pay the bills.

When I was younger and you asked me where did I see myself when I grew up, I could tell you without a flinch or an ounce of hesitation: By this age, I would be supporting myself and my mom as an actress and writer, and my passion project–my indie record label—would support fledgling artists and sooth my love for music and business. I’d travel and give give give, both time and money, as often as I could.

But… I chose to start out trying to attain that life and livelihood in radio (I was a Dj). When that road came to a dead-end, I found myself dumping all the money I had ever earned into publishing my first book, which became like a ball and chain when I couldn’t figure out how to keep selling it. I have been able to realize my dream of acting, but not yet to the extent of retiring my mother. I’ve even had the honor of working with musicians, but I don’t have record label that’s helping support anybody at this point.

The reality is: I am not where I planned to be. With all the late nights, the extra hard work, the sacrifice, I did not know it would have me here—in my mom’s house—at this point. Guys, I have failed over and over and over again, and honestly, if you catch me on the wrong day, I might tell you that I wish I could go back and make a brand new start—do it all over again so that I could choose a different path. But guess what—every single day, I wake up and I make a new start that day.


So, think about it: what haunts you everyday as a decision that you wish you hadn’t made? It can be anything from the college you chose to the job you didn’t chose.


Today’s assignment: chose ONE thing you often wish you could redo and write three ways you can chose today over yesterday—three ways you can make today your starting point.


Today’s word is from Carl Bard: a Scottish theologian, writer, and broadcaster born in 1907 and who died in 1978.

music from this episode was provided by Khalil Ismail
intro: “Lose Control” from Red Pill Electronic [download] outro: “First We Need the Love” from Red Pill Electronic [download]